Dear McKoy: I’m 21, my boyfriend is 38 and we have been dating for six months now. When we first started dating he was very gentle with me, but now he has gotten rough and I hate it. Sometimes he hits me, slaps me in the face and squeezes my neck tightly On top of that, he takes forever to reach a climax. He claims that he is taking some medication and it has made him lose sensation and he has to be rough to reach orgasm. I’m am aware of the medication he takes, but I can’t handle rough sex all of the time and it doesn’t explain why he has to be physically abusive. It’s one thing to feel pain durng penetration, but another thing when you are being hurt otherwise. He says he’ll try to be more gentle, but every time we get intimate he gets out of control. I love him, but I’m not sure how much longer I can put up with this agony. Any advice?
Dear Mya: People have various wants and desires based on their sex drives, and everyone has their own preferences, interests, and sexual desires. There is nothing wrong with them unless they are hurting the other person or are not done with their consent.
Your boyfriend may be rough because he enjoys it. If this is something that bothers you, you should talk to him about it immediately. Tell him you don’t like rough sex and let him know you are truly hurt when he treats you that way during intimacy. Expression and listening are essential, so express yourself and allow him to carry out whatever you have agreed upon.
Also, some men have difficulty reaching orgasm due to a lack of sensation. Tell your boyfriend to inform his doctor of the side effects of the medication and ask if there are any other options available.
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